Have you ever felt that you were literally dying of a broken heart? Have you ever tried to sleep only to toss and turn thinking about a series of events, feeling like you would die from the pain in your heart? Has it ever felt like your heart would literally stop in your chest because of crushing spiritual, emotional, or physical agony?
Throughout my life, there have been times when I have felt like this, especially while facing difficult situations. This has occurred more recently since the death of my beloved husband Mark. Some mornings, I have awakened feeling fine until the reality that my husband is no longer here, suffocates me like a dark shroud. At times, his absence has become like a weighty cloud affecting reality, whereby I think I hear him singing in the shower, or I discover things are missing that I could’ve sworn were just there a minute ago. All of this is part and parcel of the foggy and all too painful grief process as a person moves along the continuum from denial to acceptance. [1]
Having a broken heart, or to be filled with heartache, is a metaphor for the intense, emotional stress or pain that a person might experience when they go through great loss or experience deep longing. Grief can materialize in many shapes, from simple disappointment, to the death of a loved one, a divorce, job loss, loss of a loyal pet, contracting a physical disability or chronic illness. The intensity of such grieving is a close kin to lost love, or love that is not reciprocated. It can bring with it feelings of deep guilt, gut-wrenching sorrow, remorse, and acute physical manifestations. While everyone experiences grief differently, the pain of a broken heart, as well as failed romantic love, may cause depression, anxiety, or the feeling that you’re stuck in a bad dream. A person may also have the sensation that they don’t know who they are any more, or feel that they will never laugh again. In extreme cases, grief and loss can lead to personality changes and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Because humans are expected to maintain close relationships with other humans, this pain caused by loss might be considered somewhat of a 'survival instinct' moving a person through the grieving process and into the arms of loving family, friends, or church members. While grief and sorrow are an important part of healing, they cannot be rushed. To tell somebody to 'snap out of it' or, 'get over it and move-on with life,' is not helpful.
Each person grieves differently and there is no set length or duration for grief. It may come and go in waves. However, according to research done in 2020, people who experience common grief or loss may experience improvements in symptoms after about six months, but symptoms largely are found to resolve in about one to two years. [2]
Learning to adjust to life without someone you love so deeply, or to be faced with the reality that there are lost opportunities that will never again be possible, takes time. After a profound loss, a person should give themselves time to grieve while making sure to do good self-care. Taking care of oneself might translate into going for a walk, eating organic food, sipping tea at a scenic location, or taking vitamins. It may mean having a massage, getting your hair cut, or going for a manicure.
The Bible clearly says in Genesis 2:18 “it is not good for man to be alone.” So, spending time in the presence of people who care about you, or getting involved in activities that you like can be cathartic. But no matter what you, or someone you love is facing, God’s Word promises that He can be trusted and will comfort us in the midst of pain. He is: “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4). The verse goes on to say that when we get through the crisis, we will be able to comfort others with the comfort that we receive from the Lord Jesus Christ.
When we feel that our heart is breaking, the first thing we can do is pray, both in the Holy Spirit, and with our understanding. Listening to praise and worship is also very healing. With tears streaming down our face, we can worship while feeling broken which is a perfect “sacrifice of praise” acceptable to our precious Savior who promises to never leave us, or forsake us (Psalm 22:3; Deut 31:8). As we begin to plead the blood of Jesus, maybe while listening to old hymns, we may sense the Lord ministering to us personally and bringing renewed hope.
We can expect Father God to hear us when we cry to Him, and if we ask, He will save our lives. The old adage of taking it one day at a time has a scriptural basis as Jesus says in Matthew 6:34 "Each day has enough trouble of its own."
If you feel like you are dying of a broken heart, let's pray together:
“Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to You in the name of the true Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I love You and thank You for hearing my tears, my sighs, and groanings, and for hearing me pray right now. Please forgive me for any words I say or have said, that are angry or don't make sense. Cover me with your forgiveness, and I thank you for not judging me; thank you, that You receive me. You know me, and You have known me from before I was placed in my mothers womb according to Psalm 139. This horrific situation did not take You by surprise. You knew this day would come, and You have made provision for me. You are a good Father, and have promised to never leave me or forsake me (Deut 31:8) and You will walk with me through this sorrow (Isaiah 46:4).
Thank You so much for saving me through the blood of Your Son. Thank You that You are alive and always will be, and for being the guiding force in my life through the power of Your Holy Spirit. You are everything to me, and I couldn’t live without You. I thank You and praise You for who You are, Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth.
Father God, you know all, and see all. You see into the essence of who I am. You know that I feel like I'm physically dying of a broken heart, and I know that I cannot go on without you. Please hear my cries for help. I have absolutely no confidence in and of my own natural self or strength. Without You, my physical heart will not beat another minute. My physical heart will not survive another day. Apart from You, I can do nothing. I humbly fall at your feet and ask you to cover me with your wings (Psalms 91). Anoint me with the blood of Jesus. Anoint my broken heart right now.
Although, at times, through this crisis, I have despaired of life, YOUR WORD SAYS:
"For there is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its tender shoots will not cease. Though its root may grow old in the earth, and its stump may die in the ground, yet at the scent of water it will bud and bring forth branches like a plant” (Job 14:7-9).
Your word says that “you will restore the years the locust have eaten. The cankerworm, the palmerworm, the great army that was sent among us. We will eat and plenty, and praise the name of the Lord that has dealt wondrously with us, and your people will never be put to shame” (Joel, 2:25-26).
Lord, I'm trying to remain brave and strong, and through your strength, I will. Please restore my hope and purpose for living. My heart and my flesh may fail, as if I will not make it another day, but Your Word says that Jesus has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows (Isaiah 53:4) that the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and that by His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:5).
According to the instructions in Your Word, I am to 'walk by faith, and not by sight' (2 Cor 5:7). This means I am not supposed to depend on the flesh or 'feelings' while I am living and moving in Your Holy Spirit. You have walked with me this whole way, and I understand that to please You, I must continue walking by faith. Therefore, as You have proven yourself to me time and time again, and just as Peter walked on water while he kept his eyes on you, I too will keep my eyes upon You. I believe in Your restoration and depend upon Your word as the final authority and anchor of my soul (Hebrews 6:19).
Father, and apart from You I can do nothing (John 15:5). There must be something You still need me to do here on earth, or I understand, I wouldn’t be here. Lead me to the people who need me, Lord. Help me get my eyes off my own pain, and to pour myself into others. My family needs me. My children need me. You must still have a mission for me to accomplish. Even if it feels like everything is devastated and shattered around me, I declare and decree I am here for a reason.
You have a calling and a purpose on my life that is not yet finished, but this feeling of literally dying of a broken heart is heavy upon me. Father, unless You intervene, I cannot continue to live. I would choose death, but instead I say, not my will, but Thy will be done (Lk 22:42). This pain is overwhelming and crushing, but into Your hands, I commit my spirit.
Father God, I ask in the name of the True Lord Jesus Christ that You would keep my heart beating–and that You would extend my life (Isaiah 38:2-6). Please restore to me the joy of my salvation, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, take not your Holy Spirit from me (Psalm 51).
Let me finish my life in order to give You glory, that Your mighty name might be praised as I run my race in Your strength. Let me use every talent, every gift You have graced me with for Your kingdom. When I stand before You, I want to hear ‘well done my good and faithful servant!’ (Matthew 25:23). Let me not be taken captive by this grief.
Please help me, Father. Please, apply Your blood to my heart, Precious Lord Jesus:
Save my life.
Spare my life.
Keep me from dying of a broken heart; give me new life instead.
Heal my heart; fill me with Your joy and peace.
Take away my old, broken heart and give me a new heart of flesh–Your heart.
Help me to forgive all those who have hurt me- to forgive them with genuine, deep, total and complete forgiveness like You forgive.
Help me to walk worthy of the divine calling to which You have called me.
Help me to love, pray for, and do good to every person, pouring into them even in my distress.
Revive me again, renew me with the fire of Your Holy Spirit.
Father, please keep me from sinning against You through speaking rash words, or through any reckless or impulsive deeds. Give me wisdom. Instruct me and teach me in the way that I should go, and counsel me with Your eye upon me (Psalm 32:8). Please hone me through this situation to hear You more accurately, and to follow You more closely. Give me clean hands and a pure heart; help me not to lift my soul up to idols or swear deceitfully. May I not be pulled off course. Keep me close to you like a little lamb wrapped around Your neck.
Right now, I plead Your blood, Lord Jesus, over my mind, will, and emotions. I plead and apply Your blood over my wounded heart. Physically and spiritually, I pray, please restore me and let Your strength be seen in me as I take up this mat and walk forward. Let rebirth come out of this devastating situation. Help me as I reflect upon Jesus, Y'eshua, a man acquainted with grief's, and sorrows, who took all of my pain upon Himself on the cross so I could walk free (Isaiah 54). Let me understand the privilege of Your trust in me, allowing me to dip down into pools of grief so that I will even be closer to you and a vessel of honor. Water me with the purity of Your Holy Spirit. I ask that Your total, complete, and perfect will would come forth out of this, and every situation, in my life. Let me not stamp my foot and demand my own way, but let me rise from the ashes of this catastrophe to be yet a stronger weapon in Your hand. You have allowed this situation to take place and promise that it will benefit me according to Romans 8:28.
Father, give me the courage to face each day; let me say ‘this is the day that You have made I will rejoice and be glad in it’ (Psalm 118:24). I declare each day has enough trouble of its own, and you have given me the strength by my God to run through a troop, and by my God to leap over a wall! (Psalm 18:29).
Although, I am weary and heavy laden I come to You honestly, asking for Your miraculous intervention. PLEASE, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, give me rest. Carry me and help me to rest in You today and every day. Please carry me soundly through the night as the scripture says You give Your beloved sleep (Psalm 127-1-2). Keep me as the apple of Your eye and hide me under the shadow of Your wings (Psalm 17:8).
Father YHVH, give me the will and strength to go on. Spare my life physically and emotionally. Keep me from dying of a broken heart and let the healing balm of Gilead flow (Jer 8:22). Show forth Your glory through my life and let it be a testimony of Your goodness. You are only good and I need You desperately. Without You, I have no strength, will, or ability to live. Thank You for Your sustenance, great is Your faithfulness to me.
Thank You for underneath me are Your everlasting arms (Deut 33:27). Thank you for Your continual presence, Your help, Your love, Your protection, Your provision, and Your loving care whether I “feel” it or not. You are the God of all comfort (2 Cor 1:3-5). Please let me learn what I need to know from this experience so that when I arise, I may be a blessing and a benefit to others.
Thank You, True Lord Jesus, who lives forever to make intercession for us. Thank You that I can come boldly before Your throne of grace, where I may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need (Heb 4:15). Thank You that a bruised reed You will not break and a dimly burning wick You will not quench (Isaiah 42:3). Your eye is on the sparrow, and I am of more value to You than many sparrows (Matt 10:31).
I take up my spiritual legislation, according to Luke 10:19 and I rebuke the spirit of death that is trying to cling to me. Get off of me and off of my life in Jesus’ name. All demonic attachments and follow-up evil spirits GO, spirit of death and murder, GO in Jesus’ name. Spirit of pain, leave in Jesus’ name. Spirit of Grief be bound and become ashes under the soles of my feet (Mal 4:3). Father, revive me again and fill every part of me to overflowing with Your Holy Spirit, especially where any demonic, satanic, Luciferic, or occultic spirits have been afflicting, oppressing or whispering lies. For every moment of paint the enemy has inflicted, may there be multitude that come to salvation in Christ Jesus. May Satan regret the day he ever targeted a child of the living God with such vitriol. "God is to us a God of deliverances; and to God alone belongs the escapes from death" (Psalm 68:20).
Father God, I claim Your promise that “with long life You will satisfy me, and show me Your salvation” (Psalm 91:16). Salvation is ‘sotero’ meaning: nothing missing, nothing broken. I claim Your promise that You will supply all my needs according to Your riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19). Please restore unto me the joy of my salvation (Psalm 51:12), and fill me with LIFE, and life more abundantly (John 10:10).
Please receive this raw and honest prayer from my broken heart. Let it arise before You like incense burning on Your alter. I thank You for sparing my life and for giving me the strength to move forward in Jesus’ name. I give You all the glory, all the praise, all the honor. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer (John 11:42). In Jesus’ holy and precious name, I pray. Amen
REFERENCES
1.https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK66052/
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